An Impatient Dreamer
It has been some time since I wrote out a personal piece. So you have
been warned, here it comes.
You know how in work interviews they ask what you think your biggest
strength and flaw are? Well, for me those are quite straightforward:
I have the great strength of being a goal setter, not a dreamer (at
least that is how I like to see it). I love looking forward to a date, thinking
outside the box and, even when it seems unlikely, find a goal to check up on
that idea that once I dreamed of. I love starting things and I LOOOVE getting
to the end and looking back at all the hardships. I am a dreamer…
HOWEVER… I am also impatient.
I set short, middle or long-term goals, but I always want the payoff to
my dreams and goals NOW. I want to have and cherish micro-goals on the way to
the main goal. I guess that also makes the main goal that much more worthwhile
and makes me that much more driven towards every new goal. I just wish I had
more patience. My drive depends on how much I want a goal and failing (which does
and must happen many times) is a not so new but always tiresome process.
I say that to give you guys an insight into why my brain need to swim
and run on a weekly basis. Exercise is my therapist. Running and swimming are
the escape valves that I need to keep my engine in check. I love the fact that
it does not matter if I am running a half marathon or swimming 2000 meters… My
mental state/process is always the same: a blank slate/canvas on which to
digest ideas.
Often I find myself thinking about my friends, family, daughter,
girlfriend, etc. But what is almost certain is that for a short or medium
amount of time during my work out I tend to silence myself…
Have you ever sat or stood under the shower and not moved an inch,
focused on the sound of the water running onto you and just stayed still for a
while? Well, that is exactly what my mind does when I run or swim. It is as if
all my impatience and dreams just were paused, both my strengths and flaws
stand still and let my mind breathe, rest, stop and recharge.
When I was at the Disney marathon earlier this year, I had a sore
ligament that turned into an injury after the marathon most obviously because
of over exerting myself in order to finish this 78-kilometer challenge. As the
kilometers and miles went by I could feel the pain set in more and more; in the
beginning it was just bothersome, by the end I could feel that as soon as I was
going to stop running the pain was going to be quite serious… And yet all I
could think about was my daughter, how on the day she was born I looked at her
and with teary eyes promised to run a race that seemed impossible to complete,
just to prove to her and myself that nothing truly is.
I finished the race without thinking
about my knee, ligament, thirst level, nothing. I felt the pain come as I began
to go from running to walking and smiled, stopped so that Minnie Mouse could
place the marathon medal around my neck, gave me a high five and stopped.
Looked up with tears of happiness and pride… Fatherly pride.
It was an awesome accomplishment,
and I finally understood why my trainer says that when you run, the medal is
earned at the race, but the race itself is completed way before, through every
early morning woken up, every dawn experienced while running and every party or
event you missed to sleep better. I live with my flaws and learn to take
advantage of my strengths every day that goes by…
So, I promise that many other crazy “impossible” goals will be set and accomplished and written about.
